Thursday, May 8, 2014

Where am I mentally?

So I officially started on this journey around October 2009, it's been a while so it's nice to reexamine the journey as well as where we go from here.

In the beginning, I was utterly frustrated with the yo-yo'ing that has become my life. I realized I didn't have any means to maintain weight for any amount of time. It felt like weight gain was always inevitable and I always gained more than I lost.

I needed to find a sustainable way to live where my weight didn't fluctuate so much nor did it dominate my happiness.

I started off with calorie counting so I could understand portion control. I made 100% of my meals which meant prepping ahead of time and shopping with a list. I didn't allow the trigger foods to be in the house - those being chips, cookies, candy...etc. I knew I couldn't stop at one so in the beginning I had to be super strict.

I kept a food journal where I wrote down everything I ate. It kept me accountable and also pinpointed areas I could improve on.

I slowly incorporated exercise into my life starting with 30 minutes per day and building from there. I was surprised to see once I forced myself to get to the gym, more often than not, I stayed longer than the planned 30 minutes.

My relationship with the scale also changed. I used to avoid stepping on the scale because I was so scared at the number it would tell me. I made it routine to weigh-in so scary factor started to dwindle. It slowly became a tool rather than some evil being trying to sabotage my happiness.

For a while, I made my health my number ONE priority. I realized that all the excuses over the years were only hurting myself.

I took responsibility yet also learned to be kinder to myself and less critical.

Nowadays, it's nice to see that my weight isn't on the forefront of my thoughts anymore. It has slowly taken a back seat now that I get to enjoy other aspects of my life. It's not holding me back. Of course, I keep it in check but I'm less strict with it than I was in the beginning.

Slowly tweaking my plan yet watching the scale worked for me.

Moderation is what saved me. I used to categorize food into bad foods and good foods. I deprived myself of the things I really wanted only to gorge on them after falling off my diet. I'm never on a diet. I treat it more like a checks and balances. If I'm eating more one day, I cut back on other days to keep things in check.

Right now, instead of focusing on the scale, what I really want to do is focus on toning up and getting fit. It'll be nice to see more definition in my arms.

How are you guys doing mentally? Where is your head at?

Throwback Thursday photo

April 2014 Photo

It's not just the size difference but I can genuinely see me happier now than I was back then.

I've always said the weight gain was never the disease but a symptom of something bigger going on - stress, depression, worrying about the future.... I had to target the emotional issues before I could fix anything else. I had to be in a good place where I felt safe and loved by myself and others for me to fully tackle on losing weight. I was fortunate to find time to do that and I genuinely wish everyone the best. 

We all deserve to be happy.

Before I sign off, be sure to check out the Youtube channel my sister and I started! We post videos every Monday and Thursdays. We'll be shooting together when we can but I'll mainly be in charge of Mondays. My sister is in charge of Thursdays. This is my sister's newest video where she is absolutely brilliant and hilarious. I would love it if you guys took the time to check it out!


  1. Ah, Grace. I just have to tell you that I just went and watched those vids and they were HILARIOUS! Just cracks me up! You and your sis have such great chemistry. I have to tell you, though, that my Mom isn't entirely like that, but she IS some like that! She always wants to try my food and tries to sneak those bites. Luckily, she's somewhat of a picky eater.

    Now for your blog... mentally, I think I'm doing ok. I have up and down times, but I'm trying not to let it get to me. But reading blogs like yours helps because well.. you've done it. You've lost weight, been able to maintain, AND you're a foodie! I guess that is why when you aren't blogging I get a bit of the sadz. LOL Mostly because with all of the fad stuff going around (Paleo! Gluten free! Low carb!) I feel like sometimes I'm the minority in the normal eating in better portions. Funny enough, it's what has helped with junk food consumption more than anything! It just 'clicks'. Anyways, I guess mentally I'm ok. I'm working on it. Physically, I feel much better today! But that will be on my blog later... I hope. LOL

  2. Heya Grace: Mentally I haven't been great, I've been depressed and stressed out a lot. I've put so much of my weight back on and just feel really crappy about it, it's made getting back in the game so hard. My body image and the way I feel about myself is so low which makes the whole process even more difficult. I know that what this all takes has to come from me but right now I'm not feeling good.

  3. I'm doing pretty well, but I feel myself teetering on the edge of falling off the wagon after a 30 pound weight loss. I can't let that happen, so right now I have some anxiety as I look for answers. I think you've done a great job with your weight loss and maintenance. Congrats!

  4. As you have read, I'm a mental mess, but it's getting better.

    I have always felt like the idea of good foods/bad foods can get one into trouble; it certainly did for me. No donuts ever quickly turns into a donut binge; eating one donut and then having salad for lunch is a way better course.

    You look great by the way, very happy.


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