Monday, February 11, 2013
I have a fear of the unknown. I don't like surprises and not knowing what to expect.
When I read books or watch movies, I hate not knowing the ending.
In my personal life, I tend to play things safe because I am a worrier. A million hypothetical endings pop up in my head whenever a situation presents itself. I always always plan for the absolute worst and hope for the best.
When I refocused my life and set on this journey to heal myself, I put other priorities on hold. I pressed the figurative pause button on certain things in my life.
I am going to be honest with myself and this blog and admit maybe part of the reason I haven't proclaimed, "I'm at goal!" or "I'm going to start maintenance life," is because once that goal is reached....I have to unpause the things I've been putting on the back burner.
In the past, I used to daydream about when I lost weight...x, y and z would happen. Now that I'm so close to goal weight (fyi I have no set # in mind), I realize I'm slightly scared about it.
This Lent (I'm not Catholic), I've decided to give up procrastinating. This is definitely easier said than done. I have to take certain risks. If I don't take action and deal with other things outside of weight-loss, nothing is ever going to change.
On one of my runs this weekend, I realized I'm ready to take the next step.
It was scary taking the first step trying to lose weight not knowing if I would ever succeed. I've forgotten how scared I was in the beginning.
I realize that fear is similar to where I am now. I'm scared to move forward with other things in my life.
My boyfriend said it best though, "If you don't try, you'll never know."
Wish me luck on new endeavors! xoxo