I had read this article, "The Joys and Sorrows of being a Fat Foreign Girl in China," a few months ago and thought it was an interesting take on living in Asia from a non-Asian point of view.
Someone on Facebook shared this article, "Fat for an Asian:" The pressure of being naturally perfect. yesterday and I think I read it a few months ago but it was something that was interesting to re-read with a fresh pair of eyes.
A few parts of the article jumped out at me yesterday..
"That's the problem -- Asian girls are suffering from body image issues and eating disorders because they try to hold themselves up to the expectation that Asian girls are naturally slim."
"I spent much of my life hating my body because it felt imperfect for both Asian standards and Western standards. I wasn’t skinny or tall enough to look like a fashion model or busty enough to be a swimsuit model, and I wasn’t petite and cute enough to look like a Korean pop star."
"I told a white classmate about how casual it is for Asian parents to make comments about their children’s’ weight. She frowned and said, “That would not be okay in my household. That would not go over well.” It’s a cultural disconnect I’m still trying to grapple and understand."I can relate to all three things.
Goodbye party last March for a friend...
I think the pressure to be thin is definitely not just an Asian thing. I think what is slightly different when I'm in the States versus when I'm in Taiwan is that the standards are slightly different.
When I started running more last year, I got a private message from a close friend of mine on Facebook saying..
"btw you really are an inspiration. the fact that you can go job 7miles almost every day makes me realize that i can really squeeze in exercise if i could strengthen my will power. You look great and i'm sure you are feeling even greater. Btw, are you even 100 lbs?!?!"
I put "haha" in my response telling her that my 11 y/o brother at the time weighed 105 lbs. I weigh more than that by far. It's ridiculous but I briefly felt like a failure for not weighing less than I do.
Wanting to lose weight is something I try to achieve through healthy habits because I know shortcuts don't work. In the beginning of the journey, I was slightly scale-obsessed when I would weigh myself multiple times of day. My boyfriend noticed how my emotions were ruled by the number and realized there was a problem. He gave me a gentle lecture to limit the number of times I weighed myself and to accept that fluctuations will happen. Wanting to see the number on the scale drop is harmless at first but it has the potential to turn into an obsession with no end in sight.
When I was in college a few of my sorority sisters couldn't donate blood because they were underweight ( donors must weigh more than 110 lbs). I eyed those girls enviously wishing I had their problem.
"I can't gain weight. No matter how much I eat." These girls would complain.
Back then, I secretly thought they were just rubbing it in my face about their non-problem. Now I realize that not being able to absorb nutrients is a real problem. Some people really have that issue. It's not something I should envy nor should I believe everything they say all the time. Maybe like the girl in the article I just read, they secretly watch their food intake like a hawk. Who knows?
"No matter how much I eat" is an extremely arbitrary phrase because who knows how much they eat?!
On this journey, I've learned that I can't compare myself to other people.
Some people like to be very open about how hard they work out or watch what they eat.
Some people like to act like they are naturally thin hiding secret struggles.
I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. I've never been a fan of extremes.
My mind wanders when I run. My morning 4.8 mile run gave me a chance to sort out of my feelings. The weather was perfect for the run: cloudy and cool.
I weighed myself this morning and it was a nice drop from last week. Now that I finally jumped on the scale, I'm more likely to weigh-in consistently. It's another tool I use to gauge my progress but not the only tool.
Have you read any good articles lately? Do share!
9 comments:
I think I read the same article a while back about the American in Asia. I know for a fact taht weight and body image can become an issue. As you've read on my blog, I dealt with bulimia for 6 years. There were other facts that led to it but desiring to be smaller and smaller was a big one. Now, I try to keep it in check. I do weigh but I try very hard not to let it dictat my day. I had to learn to know that the world wouldn't come to a screeching halt if I weighed xyz. I think gaining the weight that I gained in recovery actually helped me face the demon in the closet. The demon of "being fat". I learned that it's okay to want to be slimmer and healthier but that I do not have to live in the shackles and chains of losing weight. Thanks for this post. I hope it helps other women to know that they are not alone in their struggle for self improvement balanced with self acceptance.
What a great post Grace!!! Thank you for sharing your insight and perspective. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
That is a lot of pressure. I know how horrible it can be to have your parents worry-criticise about your weight. Especially my mom used to wait for me to step on the scale to see. She would gived me diet pills in my teens, diets when i was just a kid, and even an extremely illegal liposuction when i was 16( illegal because i was 65 kgs and 1.67m and a teenager). By the way, since it was illegal, i had only local anesthesia and i could feel everything. It was the most painful i ever did. When i moved out i gained gradually 80 kgs, from very thin i became morbidly obese. Although horrible it was indeed liberating! I do not know if that makes any sense.
The only person IO know who really has got a problem with nutrient absorption is my brother-in-law. His physician recommended he should eat anadditional chocolate bar *every* day so he would not lose any more weight. He is also ill every now and again, his body cannot store the energy he needs. (And of course he is married to my younger sister, who - like me - starts gaining weight if she so much as thinks about chocolate. I am not sure whom I pity more.)
Great post today!!
Great post! I went and read the girl's article and I can totally relate being a large breasted BLACK tall big girl who lived in Japan for two years. Although my experience was much more positive that the author's. I guess every race has their issues and you never know what someone else is dealing with.
Thanks for the insight!
Interesting points.
In mainland China a few months ago, we were surprised by the number of overweight and larger Chinese adolescents. Not sure why we expected something else, but we both realized we did.
It's a phenomenon we've also seen in Italy. People about 35 or older seem to differ markedly in size from their US counterparts. For example, in my husbands family, all of the people raised in the US are much larger (not to say overweight necessarily, but definitely taller and bigger) than those raised in Italy. But this difference seems to be disappearing with people under about 30 or so. Perhaps that's because we don't know as many split families anymore (with US and Italian equivalents), but even just looking at the size of people you see in general (not comparing within the same family), younger people in Italy are larger. We guess it's because Italy is becoming more like the US in that Italy is now using more hormones in meat and animal products, more chemicals, etc. and many of the other American downsides are also spreading there -- convenience food, tv/video games/computers, prevalence of cars, etc.
All that to say that I wonder if this stereotype of a slim Asian will eventually dissipate as people of all races encounter similar struggles with convenience food, unnatural or modified animal products, and a sedentary lifestyle.
I admire you x10000! You are one of the few that have overcome all the stereo typical expectations and learned to control your body efficiently and properly. You're beautiful now and you were then, but being happy with how you feel and look really makes the journey worth it. It makes me very sad to see women/men struggle to fit in certain "molds". It's so unrealistic and damaging emotionally and physically.
I think the pressure to be a perfect, pretty, thin girl spans across many cultures. I have painful memories of my mother and aunt discussing my weight issues (in front of me) when I was six or seven. My "issues" at that time were nothing more than a little baby fat that I would have naturally grown out of had I been left alone and loved. Instead of being accepted and encouraged to focus on the things I was good at, I was taught that dieting was the only way that I could be a good, pretty, thinner daughter. SAD!
I am still learning to be healthier, and to cure my scale obsessions. After your boyfriend talked to you about weighing obsessively, what approach did you take to resolve the issue? Did you just weigh in once a week? I'm trying to find a healthy approach to using the scale that won't leave me emotionally compensated. I'd like to track my progress and clear up my negative feelings about scales, but I'm not quite sure how to do that.
There is a great book called School Girls by Peggy Orenstein that is all about what culture does to us girls when we are growing up. You should check it out.
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