My mom reacted exactly how I imagined - irrationally, hurtfully, loudly, ....downright crazy.
My dad actually surprised me by telling me that he trusted me and wished me the best. He told my mom that he'd seen a change in my personality over the years and thinks the reason is that my boyfriend is a good influence. My mom was infuriated that my dad wasn't on the same page.
My mom calmed down after a few days and wanted me to let her interact with Jason more. She stated that she isn't giving her approval but she's not shutting the door either. This surprised me because my mom was actually reasonable about this.
A year has passed since then and it's crazy how things have turned out. The most surprising thing is my parents LOVE my boyfriend like a son. They have him on a pedestal. My mom plans family vacations with him in mind. She makes lists of places she wants to take him to since our entire family loves traveling. On our trip to Taipei, my parents spared no expense to show him a good time.
It's definitely an interesting experience melding two families together. He's met some of my relatives and I've met some of his but we're not finished yet. I hope we get to meet everyone soon but with everyone living all over the world, it's very hard!
i
Webcam pictures taken first month we started dating Dec '06
Us at my peak weight - Spring 2008
Us Now
If I were to go back and give myself advice at the beginning of the relationship, I would tell myself to
- Love myself more
- Deal with my issues productively
- Trust my boyfriend
- Give my boyfriend more freedom to do what he wants.
- Relinquish control
Since I can't change how I behaved in the past, all I can do is be a better partner to him in the present!
I had a huge amount of fear and anxiety when I was in my early twenties. I hated myself so I would take it out on myself and the people around me. It took a long time for me to let go of this anxiety and live again. There was a part of me that thought I didn't deserve love both from my family and my boyfriend. I thought if they knew who I really was, they would hate me and leave me. Food was my comfort back then.
I still feel fear nowadays but it's not as bad as before. My boyfriend is very calm and collected so he keeps me sane. When I feel tension or overwhelmed, I exercise or talk it out.
It's definitely a work in progress but I'd like to think I'm improving.
P.S. My bf doesn't read my blog (if you guys are wondering).
5 comments:
Wow, I'm a stalker of your blog but I felt inclined to comment on this because I'm going through a similar but different situation. My mother is upset (for the last year) that my boyfriend and I decided to live together. I hope she can get passed this and your story gives me the hope that maybe one day she will. Thank you for posting this, I really needed it :)
I think it's fabulous that your parents have now accepted your BF and your relationship. I haven't personally gone through this but have seen close friends go through it. I think the most important thing is having a healthy relationship with whomever it is, with love, kindness, respect and compromise for each other. I think people continue to grow and improve the more time that goes by and the older you get. I know after almost 8yrs of marriage I'm still growing and improving! It's sounds like you two are a great match for each other :-)
Relationships are hard. Obviously he is a good guy, you have been together awhile!
This took courage and it is so raw and genuine . KUDOS to you!!! Bless you both!
Parents are so small minded sometimes, but I'm happy to see the outcome for you and your boyfriend was a positive one! You two are so cute together! :)
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